Strongest Instinct
by drippingwithsin
Summary: There is nothing stronger than the bond between a mother and her child. No matter what the condition of one may be. [mother/daughter]
1. Dearest Mom

**AN** : Changes-Bella and Renée had/have a close relationship and Bella's **not** with the Cullens. Really want Bella changing Renée. So she'll go all mama vamp on Bells. I think it'd be cute. Pairings are up in the air. I **only** do femslash so if you have any suggestions for both Bella and Renee's partners feel free to leave them.

* * *

Where does one go when they have nowhere else? When time is unlimited and the entire world has all but turned its back on you. When everyone sees you as something to destroy, something to fear, something to control. Truthfully, however, you feel not unlike the poor lowly spider caught in the corner of a bathroom. A unique yet misunderstood creature who's fate was sealed merely due to its looks and everybody else's irrational fear. In reality, you know that the world has every right to be terrified of you; for you are a predator one that was designed to perfection to kill the most dangerous creature of them all without mercy or cause.

But like all addicts, you reasoned with yourself and tried to make it.

The blood tasted sweet on your lips as it washed over your palate and slid pleasantly down your throat, warming and tingling your insides like your very first glass of champagne. And oh God, the feeling that it brought was unlike anything any high or pint of alcohol ever did. Yet afterward just like any conclusion of all sinful acts the wonderful ecstasy from before was gone, washed away and replaced by an overwhelming feeling of guilt.

Did they have a family? One who loved them, cared for them, and were now worried about them? Would they be mourned? Or did you do the right thing and put a loveless, lonely creature out of its misery? Questions so many questions, most of which you'd rather eat a full course home cooked meal than hear the answers to.

Yes, the guilt was ruthless and always there. Of course, you knew it would be, had heard countless times from _them_. But you could deal with it, far better than breaking the neck of an innocent creature such as a doe or bear, what you could not deal with and what nobody else warned you about was the sheer loneliness of this life.

One could not make friends or even acquaintances with their dinner. A lion does not, could not, lay down with a lamb just as a lamb could/did not coo and pet grass. Humans, on the other hand, were an oddity. They hugged cows, petted chickens, yet slaughtered them without mercy without care for their meat.

And they have the absolute gall to call animals beasts. You always snort at that thought. Amused by the hypocrisy of it all.

You weren't a human or an animal for that matter you were an entirely different species. One of which had all the appearances of a human but was driven by instincts like an animal.

In other words, humans were your fat juicy steak. Seeing and being around them literally made your stomach growl.

Others of your kind, well, that didn't work out too great. Vampires were like most big cats. Solitary for the most part and so very territory that meeting usually ended in someone being decapitated. And though you loathe this life you are not willing to go into death's embrace just yet.

It comes to you in the middle of the night while laying in an open meadow and feigning sleep. Who is the one person, the one being on this earth, who would not judge you no matter what or who you are(or have become)? The one being who would gladly take you any which way they could have you.

 _Renée_

The name whispered from the past causes your eyes to snap open. A vision of a woman with your ivory skin, dark hair and eyes come to mind. Renee, your mother, your human dam. Longing surged through you and the beast inside of you whimpered.

If there was any human you could be around it would be her.

Mind made up you sped off into the darkness, following the age-old call that only occurs between dam and babe.

* * *

Perched motionless astride a thick oak limb, Bella stared at the modestly built home, blinking not once nor even breathing as she listened carefully to the occupants inside; their heartbeats steady and voices a low mummer she could just make out what they were saying due to the summer wind rushing past her sensitive ears. She didn't know what drove her here. Maybe it was the loneliness or the instinctual need to be close to. Whatever the cause it was too late to back out now.

"I'm about to leave, Renée." A man's voice called out followed by the telltale sound of a jacket being shucked on and zipped up.

The soft pad of footsteps walked closer to the male occupying the living room. "Alright, but be careful."

If Bella's heart still beat it would have skipped one at the familiar sound of her mother's voice. It'd been five long years since she'd heard it and God how she missed it. She whined pitifully and felt venom well up in her eyes. Ever since her father died due to a traffic stop went terribly wrong she'd been anxious to see her mother again. of course she couldn't due to the location where the woman lives. But last year a miracle happened her Renée and Phil decided to move.

Exactly where they decided to move made her eyebrows rise at the time. Mississippi of all places. It was the very last state she'd think anyone would want to move to, but from what she vaguely remembered from her human life was where Phil supposedly had relatives.

When she first entered the state, Bella much like everyone else expected to see rednecks and racism everywhere but was pleasantly surprised when she encountered humans of all colors interacting peacefully and even friendly. She should have known not to listen to the media.

A couple of seconds later, she watched the front door swing open and Phil walked out. He'd aged very little over the few years yet there was something in his stride that only experience could bring. Bella watched him make a beeline to a newish model maroon pick-up truck and wondered briefly where he was headed until she happened to notice the name of a local correctional facility written across the back of his zip up. Guess the baseball career fell through, she thought still keeping her eyes locked onto human as he drove away into the night.

Once she was sure he was gone, however, Bella turned her attention back to the main objective-her mother. She listened closely as the soft pad of dainty feet wandered through the house stopping here and there as she did the odd thing.

She entered through the living room window with ease only to frown as she did so. This was too easy, far too easy, what if she'd been a burglar or rapist, her mother could have been dead or worse. Bella worried a bit until a familiar yet new scent caught her attention. A combination of hedge tree flowers, cut grass, and a light hint of floral perfume caressed her senses reminding Bella of warm summer days and simpler times. She sighed blissfully as the beast inside her purred in contentment. Both recognized the scent of their human dam immediately and it was as if Bella was hit by a mild tranquilizer. Thank God, she'd set a lighter to herself if her throat even so much as tingled with hunger.

Death would be better than dealing with the agony of killing your mother for a snack.

The house was black as pitch but to her keen sense of vision, the place seemed aglow with a light bluish luminescence. She scanned the area, noting that it had no real theme just blends of what was thought would look good. Bella smiled, this place just screamed Renée.

Her mother was never one for decorating. Just picked up whatever she deemed cute(or cheap) and sat it down somewhere randomly. It was childish, yes, but somehow the woman got it to work. A little doo-dad here, a little wat-not there all matching but not. It all oddly fit together.

Shaking her head, Bella turned her attention back to Renée's scent and began to follow it through the house until she came to a slightly cracked bedroom door. Bella smiled a tiny smile at the familiar quirk. Her mother always, as far back as she could remember kept her door open. Something to do with house fires or something along them lines. She pushed it open carefully and inhaled sharply as the form of her mother came into view.

Curled onto her side underneath a thick duvet, Renée slept onward blissfully unaware of her long-dead daughter's presence. Her chest slowly rising and falling as light little snores sounded from her nose, she lies there with the covers pulled up to her chin no doubt dreaming the odd dream.

To say Bella was mesmerized was an understatement. It'd felt like ages since she'd last slept and to be honest she missed it more than eating. Well, at least the dreaming part of it.

She needlessly tiptoed over to the bedside where she stared down at the woman for a few seconds longer before finally kneeling down at the bedside. Unable to help herself, Bella leaned forward and propped her chin on her mother's pillow where she took the time to drink everything in. Renée hadn't really changed all that much in the past few years just a few wrinkles here and there. Honestly, she looked pretty good for her age, which wasn't all those surprising good genes and healthcare products made the women on her maternal side keep their looks longer than most. She smiled and carefully oh so carefully reached over and brushed a few unruly strings of hair out of her mother's face.

But despite her tenderness, Bella had forgotten the most important thing about Renée. The woman was a light sleeper. Any touch or sound usually jolted her awake.

And the action must have been done a little too firmly or just too whatever because eyelids suddenly began to flutter a few times until they finally snapped opened to reveal two blurry orbs so much like her own used to be. Renée blinked lazily before focusing on the girl merely inches away from her face then "Ahhh!"

Ouch! Bella jolted backward and quickly covered her sensitive ears. Talk about a clichéd movie scream.

Renée frantically scrambled off the bed and made a beeline toward the exit.

Crimson eyes stared blankly at the entryway for a second or three until Bella's brain finally caught up to what had just happened. Well, fudge. So much for happy reunions.

"Mom!" Bella jumped to her feet and rushed after the fleeing woman, making sure to use human speed as to not frighten her mother. "Mom, wait!"

The vampiress easily caught up to her and wrapped her in a tight hug from behind hanging on tightly as the woman thrashed in a fruitless attempt to escape.

"Letmego! Help! Somebody please hel-" Renée tried to scream only to be cut off by an icy cold hand.

"Shh, shh, calm down." A ghost of a breath hit her ear. "It's me ' _Bella_ '."

At the sound of voice combined with her name, Renée froze immediately.

A couple of heartbeats.

"Bella?" She breathed no doubt wanting to hear her voice again.

"Yeah," It answered back and the arms around her middle slackened before falling away. Renée slowly pivoted. Eyes wide as a startled doe she stared at Bella for a few agonizing seconds. "Bella,"

An awkward little wave. "Hi, Mom."

 _Thump._

Bella peered down at the prone body of her mother splayed out across the floor and groaned at her own stupidity. The woman thought you were dead for five years and then you suddenly show up here in the middle of the night, watching her sleep and practically tackling her. Way to go there, Swan. She reached down, gently scooped Renée in her arms.

Maybe round two will be better.

 **TBC...**


	2. Renee

**Warning:** Death, grief and just overall sadness.

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

 _ **Five years earlier**_

They say there is no greater pain than that of losing a child. And you along with everyone else would be inclined to automatically agree, yet what nobody tells you or actually knows is just how very true that statement really is. Your heart shattered in your chest that day and some of the largest pieces became lost in a turbulent sea of grief, agony, and denial. Sticks and stones and all that. Whoever said words can never hurt you, never had a child ripped from their arms.

When the words first hit your ears, the rest immediately became drowned out by white noise. "Are you sure?"

Was the first question out of your mouth.

"I just spoke-are you sure?" Your tone crackled under the weight of the lump already tightening around your throat because you knew; just knew deep down in your soul what the answer was going to be, yet for some masochistic reason you wanted, no, needed to hear it once more.

A grim forced confirmation from Charlie and finally reality slammed into you like a freight train. Your baby, your daughter, the person you shared a body with for nine months, nursed, raised, cooed, and coddled was gone.

Bella's face flashed behind your eyelids.

You nearly dropped the phone as your body buckled with emotional agony. _"Nonono, not Bella! Please, please Oh God, not Bella."_

Phil must have heard the commotion because he comes barreling into the room seemingly ready for anything though you doubt he's ready for this. "What is it? What's going on?

Grief crippling your body, you could only mumble out a meek. "She's gone."

His brow furrowed in confusion. "What?"

A burst of energy surged through you just long enough for you to lift your head."Bella's dead!" Mouth opened in a silent scream, face flushed with crippling pain. "My baby's gone."

You buried your face once more as hot tears scorched down your cheeks in heavy drops and the only word you could think of at that moment was 'why'.

* * *

Tears so many tears, sobs and questions directed both at you and from you. The couple of days that followed were nothing, but an endless cycle of torture and despair that left your whole body aching both physically and mentally still your nights remained sleepless.

How could you when your baby lie somewhere cold and alone? What kind of mother would you be if you even attempted such a thing?

Never mind the fact that every time you tried chocolate eyes so much like your own haunted every dream and a familiar child's voice from the year before pleaded with you to come find her.

 _"Mommy! Where are you, mommy!?"_

 _"I'm here, baby, right here!" You run to the voice so familiar yet so vague._

 _"Mommy, hurry! I'm scared!"_

You wake every time clutching and screaming out her name into a sweat-dampened pillow. Still, she never answers. A little girl lost, a teenager dead. It all comes back at once and on repeat, over and over again.

* * *

It wasn't until the day of the wake, surrounded by an ever-growing sea of wet faces and sorrow-filled gazes that agony finally gave way to anger. White, hot, bubbling rage surged through you like a midnight tide and with it came the nearly overwhelming malevolent need to hurt somebody; hurt them until they felt a fraction of what you did.

You attempted to stomp it down, to recage the monster inside, but try as you might the tiniest petty things began to nitpick at you mercilessly. So, to keep from harming someone or something you sat motionless front and center with hands clasped together silently fuming as you stared at the java metallic and chrome handled coffin.

...

It was ugly; this overly shiny monstrosity gleaming back at you. Charlie picked it out, of course, and God how Bella would have absolutely hated it.

 _Gah, Charlie, this looks like something a middle-aged creeper would drive._

Speaking of said man. Charlie was not in the room, having been in here earlier she heard him mention greeting people at the door while you remained firmly planted in the front row. When you first arrived you can't even look at him.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

Another nameless person. Another sympathetic face. Another mindless condolence. How many times has she heard that very sentence? Countless and each time it grates against your skin like sandpaper against wood grain. Taking layer upon layer off until your left raw and exposed.

Still, you smiled your faux genial smiles. Said your rehearsed lines.

The masquerade went on and on for an hour.

* * *

"Renée?"

A vaguely familiar voice calls out. You turn only to be captured the soft sable eyes of your oldest friend. They peered your own brimming with earnest sympathy and understanding. It eases the pressure of a rusted jagged chain constricting your heart. There are no words. She understood.

"She's gone, Sue. My baby's gone."

"Oh Renée," Your old best friend surged forward and pulled you into a tight embrace and it was then surrounded by the familiar soothing scent of earth, pine smoke and floral perfume you finally break down completely.

You buried yourself in her shoulder and fall. "I just want her back."

"Shh, shh," Sue gently rubbed your back.

"Please bring her back." You plead pitifully through the tightness in your throat.

It was too much. Too much to pain to have to bare. It bled from your lips to her soul.

She let out a small wail and whispered vehemently. "I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. I wish I could. God, knows I do."

All around unnoticed by the two women the rest of the funeral home breaks down in sobs at the mother's desperate plea, every person wanting to help, but none were able.

* * *

After the funeral, you fled. To where you haven't a clue. Just jumped into your vehicle and left. Winding road after winding road you traveled until by sheer coincidence you come upon a familiar sickening sight. Skid marks on pavement, snapped saplings and a freshly placed cross marks the last moments of your baby's life

You knelt in front of the wooden cross, reached out and gently caressed the plastic flowers reefing the top. Eyelids slipped closed and you breathed. Just breathed.

"I'm here, baby." You leaned forward and pressed a kiss on the center where the two pieces met. "Mommy's here. You can come back now."

But she didn't come back. _She never would._

* * *

Years passed by and it still hasn't quite sunken in fully that Bella is actually gone. Everything has suffered under the weight of your grief. Your health, your emotional state, your marriage, your life. You went through days in a zombielistic haze. Others, like a robot. Still, life went on as usual. Seasons changed. People got older. It was just the way the world worked.

Well until now.

Frigid arms seemingly made of steel hold a terrified Renee in place. Earlier, deep in a beautiful warm fuzzy dream where she was running and playing in a meadow with Bella at her side Renée was awoken by a slight brush against her face.

Renée frantically scrambled off the bed and made a beeline toward the exit. She was nearly at the front door when she was captured.

"Letmego! Help! Somebody please hel-" Renée tried to scream only to be cut off by an icy cold hand.

"Shh, shh, calm down." A ghost of a breath hit her ear. "It's me ' _Bella_ '."

Dark eyes widened to the size of saucers as Renée went limp. That voice that hauntingly familiar voice. It couldn't be. Bella died five years ago. It couldn't possibly be. This had to be a joke. Some sick twisted joke.

"Bella?" She breathed wanting to hear the voice again.

"Yeah," It answered back and the arms around her middle slackened before falling away. Renee slowly turned and her mind went blank by the uncomprehending sight before her. She blinked. Once. Twice. "Bella,"

An awkward little wave and smile so much like Charlie's. "Hi, Mom."

It was too much. The world came crashing down and everything bled black.

 **TBC**...

* * *

 **AN** : In Renee's dreams Bella appeared little because that's how all mothers see their children no matter their age. Always babies. Why did she break down in Sue's arms not Charlie's or Phil's? Well, people are funny like that. When my uncle died my aunt kept it together the entire time until my mom showed up and hugged her then she just broke down.

So sorry to any of you who has lost a child. I can not even imagine the pain.


End file.
